Friday, October 17, 2014

{day sixteen} a glimpse of the girl i was...

have you ever journeyed so far you forget where you started?
yeah. me, too.

when i reflect on my high school and college years, there is much i do no recollect.
then there is much i do.
i was following the crowd.
doing what everyone else did.

and was so completely empty and broken.
yes, i thought i was happy.
until, i wasn't.

but all the miles i traveled on that wide road that was leading me straight to hell were part of my journey.

the journey to where i am now.

you see, i am nothing like i once was.

i was the girl who cared what everyone else thought of her.  who desperately tried to fit in.  who craved attention and affirmation.  the girl who drank too much and ate too little.  who cussed like a sailor and smoked like a chimney.  the girl who told raunchy jokes and liked to make people laugh.  the girl who would drop her friends if something better came along.  who loved drama and all it entails.  

all of that.  and so much more.

there isn't much i like about the person i once was.  

i can not pinpoint the day i began to recognize the void in my life.
the unmistakable calling from the only One who could fill that space i had long stuffed with emptiness.

but here is what i do know.
the moment i allowed Him to start peeling back those layers and exposing me for who i really was was the moment i surrendered.

no more hiding.  or ducking into corners.
no more shortcuts or back roads.

it wasn't easy.
in fact, it was ugly.
and dirty.
but then again, there was a whole lot of filth that i had to own.

once i owned it, He was able to start the scrubbing process.
until the person i was became the person i am.
washed clean by the blood of Jesus.

when i reflect on all those years, i am filled with joy.
because without the detour it never would have been a journey.

therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.  ~2 corinthians 5:17

No comments:

Post a Comment