Wednesday, August 29, 2012

on the difficult task of finding the right words...

What do you do when the words that accurately express your feelings are rolling around in your heart and head yet never seem to sound right when they are spoken?  They never seem to portray the emotion behind the words.

How do you really tell your child that you love them?  Really tell them so they feel it to their very core?

How do you really tell your spouse that you adore them?  Totally adore them for everything they do to make you feel like the most beautiful person they have ever laid eyes on?

How do you accurately say thank you?  A thank you that says how deeply grateful you are for the person who stepped in to help?  A thank you that says I will never be able to tell you in words how much gratitude pours out of my heart because of you?

How do tell someone with certain urgency how much Jesus loves them?  So that they understand beyond all doubt how deep and wide His love is for them? 

There are days---days like today---when the words tumble violently in my heart.  And I just can't seem to get them to make much sense.  They just don't seem to say everything that I am feeling.

Days when I tell my daughter 'I love you' and I know that she will not understand that this proclaimation of love really means that our hearts and souls are forever bound together.  That I would move Heaven and Earth, if possible, for her.  That I prayed earnestly for her, yes just her, for years.  And I didn't know until I felt her move for the first time or laid eyes on her how she was an answer to all those prayers.  Somehow, 'I love you' just doesn't seem enough.  And yet, it is.

Days when I tell my husband 'I adore you' and I know that he does not comprehend, fully comprehend, that I adore everything about him.  Yes, even the things that irk the pure mess out of me.    Even those things.  It doesn't say that I adore the way he tucks my hair behind my ear or grabs my hand under the covers as we are rousing from sleep.  It doesn't say that his grin lights up my heart and his sense of humor, while completely off the wall, makes me laugh until my sides hurt.  Somehow, 'I adore you' doesn't say all of that.  And yet, it does.

Days when 'Thank you' seems trite and over-used.  When gratitude pours so freely out of my heart that I fear it might burst wide open.  Where I pray to be able help others the way we have been helped.  Somehow, 'Thank you' will never be enough.  But yet, the gratitude that pours out of my heart has the ability to pour onto that person with a certainty that can not be explained.

Days where 'Jesus loves you' feels more like a children's song and not an absolute Truth.  Days where the urgency I feel can not be explained in three little words.  Days where I desperately want others to know the redeeming, saving power of Jesus.  Somehow 'Jesus love you' is the only Truth that can be told.

Days like today find me plowing through the Truth and planting promises in my heart.  Days like today find me watering the seeds of Truth, so that when the moment is right, I will be able to pick a beautiful bouquet of words and present it the person who needs to hear it the most. 

What do you do when your words don't seem to make sense?

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