Friday, August 24, 2012

when you are looking for a place for your heart to call home

What is it about being a girl, a lady, a woman that makes you feel uncomfortable in your own skin at times?

I spent the better part of my teenage and young adult years trying to fit in.  Trying to find that one place where I belong.

In middle school and high school, I ditched friends I had since elementary school and chased popularity until I was red in the face.  I wanted to hang out with the cool kids.  {For the record, most of them were pretty cool and turned out to be good friends for that season in my life.}

In college, I was a sorority girl.  You know the type. Greek letters, pearl earrings, awkward stances in group photos.  And I adored those girls too.  I still adore them.

But yet, I still felt like a fish out of water on the inside.  Maybe it was because I was trying too hard.  Maybe it was because I was trying to pretend like I had it all together.  Maybe I was just trying to be too much of what I was not created for. 

It wasn't until after I had moved back home and was planning my wedding and attending a Bible study group that I felt like I had arrived.  I felt like I had found my people.  My niche.  Women who understood and loved me despite my flaws and imperfections.  I found friends that I could unveil my true colors--all my hopes and dreams and failures and disappointments.  And they rallied behind me, supported me and cheered me on.  And they did these things by sharing Truth and offering up prayers.  By loving me relentlessly and regardlessly.

And it was in that group {that has grown from 5 to 25} that a calling was placed in my heart.  It started as a barely audible whisper.  And now it is so loud that I feel like others can hear it screaming from my heart. 
I want women everywhere to find a place their hearts can call home.  A group that welcomes them with open arms and open minds and open hearts.  A group that feels like you have just cozied up in a warm blanket with a steaming cup of coffee on a cold, rainy day. 

I found that place when I decided to stop pretending and start being real. 

Joining my Beloved Beauties in Bible study almost five years ago, my heart came home.  And it has camped there every since.

'I want them to be strengthened and joined together with love
 and to have the full confidence that comes from understanding.
I want them to know completely the secret truth that God has made known.
That truth is Christ himself.'
Colossians 2:2


  1. As a lil' sis in Christ, I so appreciate this post. Wrote a similar one on my own blog this morning as a matter of fact called "Unlearning Junior High!" haha

    Thanks for the beautiful words of encouragement.

  2. What a wonderful blessing it is when we find a group of women that we can belong to and can belong to us! We walk through everything together and have become family. Loved hearing your heart for making this available to all women. We all so need community. Blessings!