Friday, April 5, 2013

skinned knees and boo-boo kisses...

Nothing prepares a mama for the first skinned knees. 

The bleeding kind that take time to clean and bandage.  The kind that bring crocodile tears and sobs that shake a tiny frame to the core {they shake a mama to her core, too}.  The kind that fun Band-Aids and Neosporin still don't convince that healing is possible.  The kind that leave a trace of remembrance on surfaces and clothes. But surfaces can wait to be cleaned, toddler knees don't keep. 

There aren't books on this kind of thing.  And besides, no amount of advice--whether written or spoken--could truly prepare a mama for the first time your baby gets hurt. 

It's a heart-wrenching pain.  A gut-punch, like none other.

'Wipe it away, Mommy.'
'I wish I could, baby.  I wish I could take it off your knees and put it on mine.'

The rest of the conversation sounded like this, but only in my heart, no spoken out loud.  There were too many tears for that, thought I'm not sure who was crying harder.

I wish that more than anything I could take your banged up knees and put them on my own knees.  But here's what I can do.  I can promise you that my heart hurts as bad, if not worse, than your knees.  I can promise you that my boo-boo kisses will never run out and my arms will always wrap you up tight until the pain goes away, okay?  I can promise you that life will knock you down again.  And it may hurt even worse, if that is even imaginable at this point.  And I can promise you that my heart will hurt just as bad as it does today, if not worse, can you imagine?  But I will continue to clean and soothe and bandage and kiss away all the pain.  I will log more miles in the rocking chair than I do my car and I will stroke your hair and kiss your forehand and rub your back until you feel like you are once again in a safe place with no pain or hurt.  There will always be room for you in the rocking chair, okay? 

Trust the Healer to bind your wounds and heal your heart, my girl.  For He is in the business of making you whole again.  As you trust Him to direct your steps, trust that when you fall He will help you back up. 

And during the mending, Mama is always read with a boo-boo kiss and rocking chair.  Those moments are as good to my aching heart as they are for your skinned knees.

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