Sunday, May 19, 2013

one thing I know...

Two years ago today, I sat in your room and meditated on how life was getting ready to change.  I dreamed about seeing your face for the first time.  And I thought about all things pink and fluffy and frilly.

In those hours leading up to your birth day two years ago, I was humbled by how little I actually knew about being a mama.  I find it amusing that not much has changed in two years.

At this exact moment, we are barreling down the interstate.  On our way to celebrate you at the Riverbanks Zoo.  From the back seat, you keep declaring that you want to go to the 'choo'.

Just a day shy of two years into this journey of motherhood, and I humbly admit that I still don't know a whole lot about how to be a mama.  But I stand firm on one thing.  And one thing only.  Jesus knows.  He knows.

I seek Him for guidance and direction.  The One who gave you to me.  The One I gave you back to the first moment I gazed into your eyes.  The One who handcrafted you and placed a desire and purpose in your heart.

As your mama, my job is to help you discover that desire and purpose by pointing you to Truth.  To set your eyes on the Cross.

Trust me when I tell you this, you were designed on purpose with a void in your heart.  And the only thing that will fill that void is Jesus.  It took me way too long to figure that out.  I pray it doesn't take you near that long.

Sweet angel, I am going to fail you.  I already have.  But know this one thing, your mama searches His word for truth.  I seek Him in how to be a mama.  Your mama.  I don't dare think I'll ever have it figured out.  But you and me.  We are going to set our hearts and eyes in the only One who can help us figure it out.  Together.  

Grab my hand, angel.  We're in this together.  For the long haul.

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