Friday, July 12, 2013

for the time when you find yourself with one less friend...

i discovered by happenstance that i had been defriended on facebook today. 

scrolling my newsfeed, sipping my coffee, i read a friend's status that intrigued me.  i clicked on the comments and then to see who liked the status.  it was at that moment that i saw that a once friend was no longer.

i admit, my feelings were hurt.  perhaps more than they should have been.

but this wasn't a person who i knew from way back when.  or a person i met once at a business function never to speak to again.  this was a person i actually interacted with on a regular basis.

so, yeah, my feelings were really hurt. 

i later discovered this person had defriended my husband too.  yet, remained friends with our family and other close friends. 

unsettling, a bit.  right?  or am i just crazy?

it left me pondering the rest of the day.  did i say something that offended?  did i do something that hurt this person?  and if i did, were we not the kind of friends who could talk about it?  face to face?

here is where i landed.

i suppose we were not true friends to begin with.  i mean, the kind of friends who sip coffee together and actually talk about life.  sure, we have done those things in the past.  but perhaps it was all a charade.  not real.  not lasting.

isn't that the funny thing about social media? 

you can have 1,068 friends one second.  one less the next.  and never have a clue what you did to lose the friendship.  of course, i say all of this a little tongue in cheek.

in the grand scheme of things, i'm okay with losing the friend.  truth be told, i never would have even known unless i stumbled upon it looking at another friend's status.

but, it has left me reflecting on true friendship all day.  real relationship. 

the kind that believes all, hopes all, and endures all things.  the kind that loves regardless. 

the kind that calls every day from a time zone away...just to hear your voice.  the kind that prays over coffee with you.  the kind that dreams big with you.  and never chuckles at you...only with you.  the kind that tells you if you have pepper in your teeth.  the kind that understands the need for something sweet.  the kind that knows how your day is just by the sound of your voice. 

the kind that knows you won't always see eye to eye, but understands that hearts see deeper than opinions.  the kind that knows you are bound to disappoint because you are no where near perfect.  yet they love you anyway. 

the kind that sharpens you.

true friendship is a gift from God.  and what a friend we have in the One who died to save us. 

are my feelings still hurt?  maybe a little.
will i lose sleep over it tonight?  doubtful.
do i think things will be different the next time this person and i are face to face?  probably not.

there in lies the answer.

there is nothing i would not do for those who are really my friends.
i have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.    ~jane austen

should you ever happen to find yourself in the same situation, may you know that you are loved beyond compare by the One who gave you friendship.  may you know that true friendship is not found through social media, but only through heads bowed and hearts united in prayer.  may you know that friends given from God love you through everything.   and may you know you will always have a friend here.

1 comment:

  1. I love this post. I was unfriended by my bridesmaid/maid of honor (I only had one... it was a small wedding) last year. I suppose it was over me moving away and not being able to be in her wedding, but I'll never know since I was unfriended. I actually found out when I went to message her to confirm her address of where to send her a gift card and card I got her for the wedding, then saw I'd been unfriended. I actually tried messaging her and getting in touch with her in other ways with no success- which tells me it was not due to some accidental error or something (sometimes people clean up their friends list and really may delete someone they like, just by accident).

    It's been almost a year since this happened and now, I still miss the friendship but I've moved on. There's honestly no use to give attention to people like that when I can do other things with my time and spend it with those who really do care. *hugs*