Tuesday, July 16, 2013

when fear creeps in the wee little hours...

there was a time in life when i slept like a rock.  through thunderstorms.  and alarm clocks.  until the breakfast hour had long past and lunch was quickly approaching. 

that ended a little over two years ago.  funny how becoming a mama makes you sleep lighter.  that myth that bears hunker down for a long nap isn't true.  or maybe it is only referring to daddy bears.

mama bears sleep with one eye open, it seems.

sweet angel, you cried out for me in the wee little hours today.  the hours where no one has any business being awake.  hours reserved for sweet dreams {and maybe a little bit of drool.} 

most of these words were etched on my heart before they ever made it here. 

i heard my name and shot straight up.  i don't remember making it to your bed.  i only know you called and i came running.  i found you sitting straight up in bed, drenched in sweat {at least i'm hoping it was sweat and not the aforementioned drool}.  you were startled.  i knew that from the way my name dropped from your lips.  i didn't have to see you to know something was wrong.  only the way in which you said my name told me you were less than okay.

'lay wit me, mama.'

i needn't tell you that i obliged. 

you nuzzled down deep and close.  your breathing returned to normal.  fast asleep, safe and sound in the crook of my arm.  i breathed you in deep like i always do.  i whispered prayers in the dark.  waiting until i knew with certainty that you back in a happy dreamland, i quietly returned to my bed. 

sleep eluded me.  i lie awake praying for peace to wash over you.  for the things that chase you and the scary monsters to flee your dreams.  just flee, in the name of Jesus. 

put your hope in the One who quiets your soulhe gave us a gift that can not be taken

nothing this side of heaven will ever be so sweet.

i can't promise you that bad dreams won't come.  and i can't promise you that real life can sometimes be just as scary.  the older you get bad dreams seem more like real life and fear sneaks up on you.  sometimes in the form of money or not fitting in or not getting inviting to a birthday party.  other times it takes the shape of caring more about what people think of you and less of what God is calling you to. 

but i promise you that anytime you call my name, i will come running.  that's a guarantee, angel. 

you may be just across the hall.  or clear across the country.  but i will come running.  

and just like now, i'll scoot in close.  we'll nuzzle down deep.  and chase away what scares you.  together.

we will bow our heads on bended knee and turn those fears over to the very One who gives us a spirit of power and self-control.

together we can chase monsters from under beds and hidden in dark closets.  we can search out those that lurk in the deep recesses of our hearts and banish them in the name of Jesus. 

sleep tight, my angel.  mama loves you so. 

but more than that...

the Almighty watches over you with great affection.

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