Monday, October 14, 2013

{day 14}::for the nights that i feel like i'm back in high school

on sunday evenings, you can find me huddled up in my friend's den.  surrounded by young women who are bravely facing the battles and victories of high school.

these girls face the front line of battle and fight ferociously to shine His light in the midst of darkness.

last night, i found myself unprepared for the lesson. 

a busy week and a three hour nap, left little time to prepare. 

it turns out, my unpreparedness and honesty with these girls, led to some honest discussion. 

we are digging deep into a lesson on apologetics.  apologetics is knowing what you believe and being able to make a reasonable argument for why you believe it. 

last night, we opened up with one another.  we stared long and hard at tough questions and reasoned in our hearts what we really believed. 

all those years i was ashamed of the mistakes i had made in my younger years and forced them to stay hidden in deep, dark corners of my soul, so that others would believe i had it all together.  turns out, those mistakes served a purpose.  not only in shaping me into the person i am today.  but i was able to be completely honest with these beautiful girls and tell them the truth behind the mistakes. 

one bold and beautiful girl resisted the urge to say the right thing. she ignored the sunday school answer.  and instead bravely stared the truth of her heart down. 

i believe in every single fiber of my being that Jesus smiled last night.  i believe it looked down on our group of women and nodded His head in delight. 

these girls are looking evil in the eyes with every blink and bat of an eyelash.  they are twisted and tugged and pulled and pushed into situations that force them to white-fist knuckle the Truth they have tucked deep for so long. 

i stand alongside them.  i will go to battle for them.  i will fight long and hard to wash them in grace and love them through all the struggles they will face.

sometimes we make mistakes.  sometimes we lose sight of the Truth.  and sometimes we just want the things we know are not good for us. 

but these girls seek Him.  they search out His will.

as i headed over to huddle up with these beauties, i was nervous and feeling rather ill-equipped.  but as their searching eyes fell upon mine, i saw myself.  i caught a glimpse of all the same struggles i faced at their age.  i remembered all the mistakes i made. 

and in that moment, grace closed the space around us.  wrapping us up in His unending, redeeming love. 

in my unpreparedness, He filled the room with His presence.  with His wisdom.  His grace never ceases to amaze me. 

'a man who refuses to admit his
mistakes can never be successful.
but if he confesses and forsakes them,
he gets another chance.'
proverbs 28:13

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