she starved herself to sizes not meant for her frame. all so she would fit in. so she could feel pretty and desirable.
it never worked.
she cussed like a sailor and told jokes that were not the least bit funny. she gossiped and judged others and was a pretty nasty person to be around. she looked like everyone else around her. which made it harder to realize something was missing.
i barely recognize her anymore.
i suppose those who were close to her during that season don't either.
she got swept off her feet and into a love story she could never have imagined for herself. a love story with the King of Kings.
coincidentally, at the same time, she feel in love with a guy who was handpicked to help heal her heart. a guy who stands beside her and pursues Jesus with all his heart.
she often finds herself reflecting on that season in her life. a season so dark she stumbled and fell and crawled towards happiness, but always found herself empty-handed. when Light broke through the darkness, beckoning her home, she picked herself up bloodied, beaten and bruised.
she was a slave, chained in sin. until the Prince of Peace marched straight into the slave market and bought her back. He paid a price much too costly. He sacrificed His own life so that she could live in freedom.
she now finds herself in a season where she is leading high school girls in a study on purity. she is living proof that Jesus uses the ill-equipped and least likely.
Jesus created a pure heart and strong spirit within her.
a heart that begs to pour into the lives of others so that they may know a love like none other. a heart that wants to keep others from stumbling in the darkness and finding themselves battered and bruise from the fall.
she has been washed clean with pure water. she left her guilt and shame at the Cross. and clings to His faithfulness for that is where she finds hope.
'let us draw near to God with a sincere heart
and with the full assurance that faith brings,
having our hearts sprinkled to
cleanse us from a guilty conscience
and having our bodies washed with pure water.
let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,
for he who promised is faithful.'