Tuesday, September 2, 2014

for those who are curious...

i've missed you.
this space where my soul comes to breathe.
the few of you who wonder over to this place and catch a glimpse inside my heart.

this summer we pushed everything off the proverbial plate in an effort to spend time together.
ironically, the plate never felt fuller.
i thought i would find time to venture off to this place.
to share bits and pieces, words and thoughts that tumble about in the deep crevasses of this heart.

i was wrong.
time was not our friend.
we moved at a frantic pace.
managing to sneak in quiet time to huddle up as a family and make memories.

and those memories will always be worth more than any extra time i hoped we would have.
but in case you were wondering what we have been up to, i thought i'd share a few tidbits.

it has been hot.  and i'm not talking about the temperature.  i shared a bit a few months back about my struggle with endometriosis.  in may, i started lupron shots to help ease the pain.  however, it threw my body into a faux-menopausal state.  thus, hot flashes and night sweats.  it's my own personal hell.  literally.  our thermostat is set on 67 and there is a vague threat of something violent should someone dare touch it.  kinda kidding.  but not really.  after all, they do make antibiotics for pneumonia.  there isn't anything to treat the unbearable heat that is a hot flash.  girls, if you don't know what i'm talking about, be glad.  very, very glad.  unfortunately, if you do know what i'm talking about it, i know you want to meet me in the freezer section of the nearest grocery store and give me an 'amen!'  i did, however, get me a super cute yellow fan for my office.  it was love at first sight.  while my family rides out the chilly temps in long-sleeves and toboggans, i'm just trying not to attractively break a sweat at the most inconvenient times.

my main squeeze and i have been meeting with this extraordinary couple to discuss marriage and parenting and all the struggles that this broken world holds.  it has been a total game changer for our relationship.  we are learning to communicate better and reflect on all the things we love about one another.  when we tell people what we are doing, they immediately think that we were on the verge of divorce or something.  which is completely false.  we just felt the need to carve out sacred time to huddle up with a Godly couple and purposely focus on our marriage.  i cherish our nights together.  we are learning so much about each other.  this man is the only one for me and i will forever be grateful that God brought us together.  after four years of dating and five years of marriage, we are reintroducing ourselves to each other.  we are learning to dance through this life together in a rhythm that makes my heart go pitter-patter.

we have entered into two very different territories with our kids.  one is three.  the other just started middle school.  so the age difference isn't a far leap, if you know what i mean.  i am convinced that the mentality of a three-year old and a middle-schooler are the same.  holy tantrums batman! woof!  but, we have two great kids.  our boy is learning to help around the house without complaining.  he is playing travel ball and continues to amaze me with his athletic talent.  our girl continues to surprise us with her antics and never-ending talk.  her lips don't stop moving.  ever!  we really are having the most fun with them.  i always wonder how in the world we got so lucky.

the browns have gone green.  at least for one day.  so far we are intrigued.  i would like to eliminate all processed foods from our pantry.  but, i know it is going to be process.  like everything else.  however, let me keep this real for you.  in case you think we are total hipsters, we ended the day with a klondike bar.  because a good ice cream should never go wasted.  i'm certain Jesus thinks that's a sin.

i feel like i am learning to pour my words out again.  i'm starting to pick through the thoughts and feelings that have been bottled up inside.  my hands are tenderly beginning to weave these words and thoughts into something comprehensible to share here with you.  we are still moving at a frantic pace.  but i am at peace with the chaos.  our hearts and eyes are open wide to the blessings that surround us.  

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