Friday, May 20, 2016

five things for my five year old...{an open letter to my girl on her birthday}

a fist full of years.  it's hard to believe.  a whirlwind of moments and memories.
this day will always be one of my favorites.
for it is the day you made me a mama.

on this day, at exactly 7:51am, you caused my heart to split wide open.
with a love i had never dreamed possible.
you have been everything i hoped for and a long-whispered prayer answered.

you are God's grace poured over me and the sweetest gift straight from Heaven.

you are fierce and independent and sassy and sweet.
and you blaze a trail wherever you go.

from the moment we first saw you, we knew.
you would change the world one life at a time.
gracious knows, you've changed ours.

i will never understand how He loves me enough to bless me with you.
but five years ago, on the operating room table, i took one look at you.
stole one kiss from your precious cheek and handed you back to the One who gave you to me.

for you are His, precious girl.

and i will spend all the time i have doing my best to teach you His truth.
this is an ugly, dark world you are growing up in.
but make no mistake, His light always shines brightest.
making a way out of the dark.

so, while it's been a long while, since i've poured my heart out in words.
i couldn't let your special day slip by without sharing what He has given me.

there are five important things you need to know...

you are beautiful.  completely and utterly beautiful.  for you were created in His image.  think about it.  He knit you together in my womb.  piece by piece.  bit by bit.  and He went to great lengths to number the strands of hair on your head.  and give you a name.  a name He knows intimately.
this world is already trying to define beauty for you.  but listen to me, sweet one.
it is not make-up and fancy clothes.  it is not the size of your thighs or the color of your hair.
real beauty is a heart that chases hard and fast after Jesus.  a gentle, sweet spirit that loves the Lord.
nothing He creates can ever be anything but beautiful.  and you were hand-crafted and declared fearfully and wonderfully made.  you are beautiful!

you are chosen.  long before i was your mama, God was placing a desire in my heart.  and He knew exactly who He would choose to be my daughter.  but more than that.  you are chosen by Him.  to do great things that He has prepared in advance for you do.  it is hard to fathom, i know. 
but it is true.  you may not be chosen to be her friend.  and you may not be chosen to go to the prom by that boy.  and goodness grief, you may not be chosen for the team.  or the first to be chosen in a red rover game.  you may not be chosen to attend the birthday party.  but always remember, you are chosen by the Creator of this world.  so keep blazing a trail and changing the world as you keep your eyes set on the One who calls you chosen.

you are important.  and you matter.  there will be moments in life that will cause you to believe otherwise.  but those are lies straight from the pit of hell.  you words and opinions and feelings matter.  there may be people who choose not to see the importance in that.  but rest assured, that i will always believe in the importance of what matters to you.  everything that matters to you can be brought straight before the Throne of grace.  because He knows.  and to Him, you are very important. 

you are loved.  oh my, you are loved.  and adored.  and cherished.  i know this is going to be hard to understand.  but it is hard for me to wrap my mind around this truth.  but as much as you love bubble gum and dancing and singing and running outside, God loves you more than that.  immeasurably more.  as your mama, the amount of love i feel for you is but a fraction of the whole amount that God loves you.  there will be people you meet who do not love you.  and that's okay.  because God loves you more than you will ever fully understand.

you are special.  unique, set apart.  since the day you were born, my prayer has been that you would grow bold to His call over your life.  He has a unique job for you in His kingdom.  something only you can do to draw people closer to Him.  never shy away from that.  sometimes it may not feel like a special calling.  and sometimes it won't feel like you are set-apart.  but that which He calls special is just that.  special.  and i will never stop reminding you of this.

sweet girl, i have failed in these five years.  there have been moments we have bumped heads.  and moments that have been a pure struggle.  but those are the moments that i do what only makes sense.  i fall on my knees and seek His guidance on how to be your mama.  and moment by moment, He places truth on my heart to share with you.

you are beautiful and chosen and important and loved and special.  

and your daddy and i will never stop telling you these truths.

these past five years have been nothing if not wonderful.  we love you more than you will ever fully understand.  happiest of happy birthdays, sweet girl!

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