Friday, September 16, 2016

to the princess, who wears her crown so well...

it has been six years and one day since my heart split wide open.
funny how two pink lines can bring all the joy.

i spent months feeling you dance within me.
my heart tangled with yours and i knew.
you would be the one who change my world.
and change it you did.

with all your sweetness and a splash of sass.
you have rocked my world in way that only a daughter can.
after years of all the self-esteem issues and hidden broken places, 
your two tiny hands have sealed up cracks i had long forgotten.

over the past five years, i have learned more about life than i dreamed possible.
watching the world through your deep blue eyes has proven to be my favorite thing.

i had long prayed for you to have another brother or sister.
one you could play with and love and grow up together.
but i often wondered if there was enough of my heart to share with another child.

when we found out we were expecting, you boldly declared you hoped it was a brother.
"because bubby needs a brother!"
those were your words.

we chuckled.
because we knew it was mostly precious with just a hint of selfishness.
another boy meant you would always stay the princess.
a role that you have perfected.
you wear the crown well, my darling.

in less than three days,  you take on your new role as big sister.
one that you have been ecstatic about for months.
the way you have talked to your baby brother and kissed my belly has melted my heart.
i just know you are going to be awesome at loving your baby brother.

but i need you know something.

you will always be the one who made me a mama.
you were a longing fulfilled.  
a dream come true.
a desire of my heart granted from above.

but there is going to be less of me to give you.
at least for a little while.
your baby brother is going to need more of my time and attention.
yet, you should always know that i will make the time.

i will always make the time for you.
my lap will always have room.
my lips will always have kisses.
my arms can stretched wide enough to hold you tight.
and my eyes will always be on you.
because my heart is always, always, always with you.

as excited as i was to hold you for the first time, i am just as excited to watch you thrive in this role as big sister.
for i know beyond all doubt, that God has created you with a heart that deeply loves others and longs to care for those you love.

you will forever be our princess.
perfectly sandwiched between two boys.
one who you think hangs the moon.
the other who will think you hang the moon.

rest in this, my love.
you will have two boys who will have your back for the rest of your life.
and a mama and daddy who always allow you to wear your crown with joy.
for you are just the princess we need to keep this family going.

even though i am your mama first and foremost.
you are also my best friend.
my favorite sidekick.
and my perfect princess.

i love you, my angel.
thank you for making me the mama i always wanted to be.
i will always be grateful for you.
never in a million years could i have imagined how blessed i would be to be given you.

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