Wednesday, February 20, 2013

{day six} at the foot of the cross i lay down my anxiety...

Just as steady as the tide, the anxiety rolls in.  Waves so large, they threaten to overtake me.  Sometimes I can stare out over the expanse of the situation and see the waves coming.  I can anticipate the struggle to know which way is up.  And then there are moments like today...

The tides of anxiety and confusion washed over me so heavy and quick.  I was caught completely unprepared.  I struggled and clawed and swam my way back to the shore.  To the place where I could regain my footing.  But in the midst of the rip current that kept pulling me further away from solid ground, I did the only thing that made sense in the moment.

I let go.

I decided to float.

I kept reciting 2 Timothy 1:7.  Over and over and over.   As I just floated.  The more I kept repeating it, the calmer my spirit became.  The more I believed it, the calmer the situation looked. 

And in that moment of barely keeping my head above water, I saw His face.  I recognized the peace that comes from the One who calms the sea.  The One who rebukes the wind.  The One who calls off the rain. 

Once the water was as smooth as glass and the situation looked crystal clear, I did something completely out of character. 

I floated. 

I stayed right there in the deep of it.  In the very place where my feet can't touch the bottom.  The water is still murky and there are all sorts of things swimming beneath the surface.  But, I'm not afraid of the deep water any longer.  Jesus is there.  He is smack-dab in the middle of it all.  And I have no doubt that He has called me to this exact place of uncertainty, where there isn't a hint of dry land to be found, for a purpose. 

Instead of trying to swim against the current and fight my way back to familiar ground, I'm choosing to float.  To trust that He will keep my head above water. 

Today, I lay my anxiety at the foot of the Cross.  And when I empty my hands of the anxiety, I am free to pick up promises.  God is not an author of confusion.    Nor did He give me a spirit of fear.  He is faithful.  He will steady me {and the situation around me} with His strong, capable hands.   

It is these promises that I carry with me.  My arms are full, but the burden is light.  I feel myself splashing in the deep water.  Basking in the light of His glory. 

Have the waves ever threatened to wash over you?  Did you ever consider just floating in the midst of the toss about? 

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