Saturday, August 3, 2013

the time when i wanted to leave me behind...

let me completely honest with you for a moment.

it takes a lot of work to get ready for vacation.  cleaning.  packing.  preparing.

and it left me ill as a hornet this morning. i didn't even want to be around me.  I tried hiding from myself.  it didn't work out like i had hoped.

i spent the better portion of thursday and friday cleaning house.  as crazy as it sounds, i love nothing more than knowing i will return from vacation to a clean house with fresh sheets on the beds.  

and then i spent the better part of this morning, picking up after everybody and cleaning again.  it made my blood boil.  I was edgy.  and irritable.  and down right miserable.  they should have left me here.  instead, they were kind enough to let me go to the beach.

what was all that about?

it was what it's always about.  i failed to submit my plans and preparations to the One who blessed us with the opportunity to even take a vacation.  i failed to slow down long enough to spend some time at His feet.  i neglected to fill myself with His power in order to shine His light.

instead, i demonstrated my weakness to my kids.  it was displayed through my poor attitude and short temper and impatience.

even though this morning started on the wrong foot doesn't mean that it has to end that way.  when i stopped long enough to spend some time at the foot of the Cross, Grace blanketed around me, wrapping me in Love.  

his strength is always made great in my weakness.  

immediately, i felt calmer. more peaceful. i felt forgiven.  and in that moment i forged a different path.  on better footing.  on solid ground.

our way will always lead us down paths that are broken and unnavigable.  

His path is straight and perfect. 

as the truck pulls out of town, heading to the place where the air is salty and sounds of waves crashing plays rhythmically in the background, i'm grateful that He travels with us.

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