on my least favorite day of the year...

a friend once told me that you shouldn't make new year's resolutions.  instead, you should focus on areas of your life you want to improve and set goals for the new year.

i tried that.  i failed.

truth be told, i have never been a fan of new year's.  especially the parties on the night before.  people dressed up celebrating wildly for reasons they aren't even sure about.  flocks making resolutions for change, only to find themselves staring failure in the face moments later. 

if we are being honest, we each stumble into the new year with failures and disappointments a mile wide. 

at least i do.

today is the day, each year, that i remember that i didn't make it back to that 'perfect' weight.  or fit back into those jeans tucked deep into the dark corner of my closet.  or give up sweets.  or drink less coffee and diet coke.  or floss every day.  or even entertain the idea of exercising. 

i spoke harsh words.  and got my priorities all mixed up.  i didn't read my Bible everyday.  or set aside enough quiet time with my Lord. 

i didn't take my girl to the park enough.  or teach her how to ride her tricycle.  i failed to read a story to her every night.  because most nights, i was begging the clock the reach the magic hour where i could collapse into bed and forget the day. 

i told people i would pray for them.  and forgot.  i had intentions of mailing cards to friends and family.  and the moment passed.

i planned to write more.  to pour out my heart and soul so that i could exhale a big sigh of relief. 

the floors in our house still aren't finished.  the hall bathroom still needs a coat of paint.  my front door still begs for color to bring it to life.  and for five years, my windows have pleaded for drapes. 

so many failures, it is hard to keep track.

last year, i started a blessings jar.  a place where we could hold the bounty that He so richly pours over us. 

this morning, i stared long into the jar.  and cried. 

because despite the failures and mistakes, the blessings shine bright.  i can hardly wait to pour them all out so we can remember them.  one by one. 

i am inching towards a new beginning of a new year.  forgetting what lies behind.  remembering the rich blessings.  and keeping my eyes on Him.  i know the new year will hold failure.  and disappointment.  and misfortune. 

but there is prize that awaits us. 

keep pushing yourself forward this new year.  keep reaching for the prize.  because He is waiting to welcome you.

may you stumble into this new year knowing that you are loved beyond measure by the One who crowns the year with His goodness.  may His lavish love warm your heart and fill your soul.

 

forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,

i press on to reach the end of the race and

 receive the heavenly prize for which God,

through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

philippians 3: 13-14