Friday, June 20, 2014

when a conversation opens an old wound...

sometimes a conversation can rip the scab off a wound you long thought had healed.
a wound so deep you often forget it is there, for you have lived with it for far too long.
when you live with a nagging pain long enough, you begin to believe it actually belongs.

two years ago, you gently tended to this wound.  praying tears of healing and redemption.
your soul was crushed.  your heart broken.
but He comforted you with the truth that you spoke from a place of love.
not place of condemnation.

and then, a conversation this week sends you right back to same spot.
a spot where that familiar pain is always lurking in the corners.
a splinter you try your best to pluck from the root. 
yet, somehow, a fragment still remains.

the root of all the pain leads back to a lie you have believed far longer than you can remember.

you will never be accepted.
you are not good enough.
she will always be better.  prettier.  nicer. more together.
they will never love you.
or even like you for that matter.

a tiny lie has the capability of splintering its way deep into your soul.   
causing colossal damage worse than you ever imagined.  
roots grown deep and watered for years can be hard to dig up.

ask me how i know.

as soon as the scab is ripped off, you stand with your gaping wound.
shrinking back to the place you stayed for what felt like an eternity.
funny how all the strides you feel like you've made end up in a dead end.

as you circle the dead-end, you notice the tiny path.
barely noticeable.  almost unrecognizable.
you put one foot on the path.  and then another.
before you know it, you are in a full sprint.
the garbage and debris that threatens to bury you is pushed aside.
suddenly, the path is illuminate and you know.
it is the way that leads directly to Him.
the very One who bandaged and healed the wound before.

in a moment you feel it.
the roots have been dug up. the splinter no longer remains.
your heart may still bare the scars from the pain, but it is whole.
because of Him.

yesterday i had a gaping wound.
today i barely recognize the scar.

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