Thursday, July 3, 2014

the unexpected on my morning commute..

i tend to be a creature of habit.
i drink my coffee the same way.
i follow the same exact routine getting ready each morning.
i drive the same route to work. 

it's just who i am.

i adjust to change.
but not without some internal chaos in the process.

while it may be hot has hades outside {and turns out hades is pretty humid, too!}, i'm finding myself in a bone-chilling, stay-in-the-bed-all-day, dark, damp hard season.

things are changing.
or not quite the way i imagined they would be.
at least at this point in my life.

it should come as no surprise that life is hard.
and it has this was of knocking the air out of you.
without so much as a warning.

for the past few months, i've fought with all my strength against this hard life.
i've struggled and tugged and pushed and forced what i think is best.
vows of becoming a better person have fallen short.
i've broken promises and neglected to give grace.

time is short and days are long.
there is never enough of me to do it all.

and that is the point.
there will never be enough of me.

but there will always be God.
and He is enough.
because He is all. 

He is all.

i drive the same way to work each day.
most of the time without noticing the scenery.

until this week.

i glanced out the passenger window and caught a glimpse of grace.
right there, smack dab in the middle of hard stuff.
pure grace sprang forth.

my grip on the steering wheel loosened.
my shoulders relaxed.  
my mind eased.
and my heart softened.

for i knew, He was speaking life directly to the hardness in my life.
He is in the midst of all this messy, beautiful, brutal thing we call life.
And He is beckoning us to spend eternity with Him.

each struggle, each set-back, each hiccup, each heartache.
each of those and all of it is an invitation to dive deeper into relationship with the One who knows.
the further i walk with Him, the more I see beauty through the hardness.

i see life blossoming through it all.
through the hardness. and cracks. and cold, damp places.

grace grows. 

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