you know those moments.
where you remember every vivid detail in technicolor.
it wasn't until i was a few days removed from the moment to see the beautiful tapestry only the Hands that fashioned creation could knit together.
i've been struggling with a situation lately.
wanting to force my way. getting impatient in the waiting.
last tuesday completely left me frazzled and boiling.
like a pressure cooker with air-tight lid, i needed to let out some steam.
somewhere between hoffmeyer and ebenezer roads, i screamed.
at the top of my lungs.
and for added effect, i pounded on the steering wheel.
'i'm so mad! and i don't know how NOT to be mad!'
'do you hear me, Lord? I. AM. MAD!'
just the clicking of my blinker filled the silence.
i jerked my car into the parking lot of a place that feels more like home and less like a place people gather on sundays and wednesdays.
it was revival week at my church.
and my spirit was desperate for renewal.
funny how screaming honest emotion into seemingly thin air can wash you with peace.
on wednesday, i caught a glimpse of hope walking my way.
hope stood right beside me. moving me to uncontrollable tears.
and yet, i failed to reach over and grasp hold.
the next couple of days past and i found myself starting the same familiar tug-o-war.
instead of trusting the One who holds my heart. the One who saddled hope right up beside me.
i allowed fear to creep in, drowning me in darkness.
saturday, we spent the day shopping at the beach.
we even dared to dip our toes in the misty shore.
kissing summer good-bye and welcoming the coolness of fall.
on the road home, we saw the headlights long before it registered they were in the wrong lane.
make no mistake a legion of angels surrounded our car, protecting us from a head-on collision.
we made little of the situation so as not to frighten tiny ears.
but the concern in her voice could not be ignored.
the quiver in her voice calmed down only after we prayed for the family traveling on the wrong side of the road on a dark night.
then sunday, it was settled.
once and for all.
for He sent a word intended directly for my heart.
'i see the angels, mama.'
'you do? what do they look like?'
'they have wings. and faces.'
'really? what color are the angels?'
'all the colors, mama. they are so bright and beautiful.'
'what are they doing right now, harper?'
'where are these angels, baby?'
'right there and there and there. they are all around us,mama. all around us.'
and then she bounded out of the car and up the stairs to her nana's house.
i sat for a few moments in the presence of those angels and smiled as these words that churned in my soul.
if He can calm the sea, then He can certainly calm my fears.
sometimes we must be hit square in the chest in order to understand the simplest of things.
this week i am lighter. and brighter.
for He has me surrounded.
no longer am i worried over this situation in my life.
i'll move when He says move.
until then, i will sit in the presence of those angels.
daring to catch a glimpse of the beauty my girl saw.
'for he will order his angels
to protect you wherever you go.'
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